It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Im part way to drunk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
