yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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