remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
