Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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