Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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