As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
