Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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