thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
