Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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