I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
