last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This is the high leading the old right now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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