okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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