were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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