I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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