he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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