I just cut my nipple shaving
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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