I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
