"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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