She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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