No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
