In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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