Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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