how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
