you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
