DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I believe in your delicious
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
