come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
