If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
