he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
