Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
