I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
