How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
