I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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