i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
