mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
