She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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