Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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