my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
