After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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