oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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