Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
