Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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