I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
