I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
