the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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