can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
