I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
