but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
