I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
