Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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