Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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