is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
from now on my penis is your penis
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
