if you like me you must not know who I am
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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