As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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