big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
